Entitlement and Gratitude

entitlement: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

gratitude: the quality of being thankful

People (including me) usually think that everything has a cause-effect relationship. This is true. But the result of something doesn't have to be what you expected it to be. Hold on, let me explain. 

Let’s take an example: You work hard on a project in your workplace.You expect to get a raise at the end of it, or a promotion. Or, you work hard to get into a certain university, expecting that at the end , you’ll get an admit to study there. 

Why do we think that? We develop a sense of entitlement. If we put in a certain amount of work, we think we are entitled to get a particular outcome from that. But in reality, the outcome could be anything! There’s a possibility that the outcome you expected will come true, but there’s also a possibility that it wont work out the way you perceived it. 

Events and outcomes

We need to learn to work hard and have goals, but not expectations. When you work hard on a project, the goal should be to do your best in it. To learn from the experience. You can expect to get a promotion at the end of it, but remember, when there are expectations —-> there is room for disappointment as well. So if you dare to expect, be mentally prepared to face disappointment, shrug it off and move on. 

What happens when you think you are entitled 

On the other hand, we can deal with the same situation in a different way- Gratitude. 

When you work hard, without having a sense of entitlement or expectations, if there’s a positive outcome, you can be thankful for it. This way, you can appreciate any victory that comes your way. This is applicable to other aspects and not just professional life. 

When you accept people for who they are, and when you do not set expectations to every friendship or relationship, life will be less stressful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to be nice and accommodate everything and anything. But if you decide that a person is your friend or if they are worth a space in your life, then you shouldn't set huge standards on them. Try to be more accepting. 

Accept people for who they are!

As a person who generally tries her best to be there for people, I always try my best to help someone out when they need me and I take their problem as my own and try hard to fix it. Because of this, I sometimes (unknowingly) start expecting people who matter to me to treat me that way too. But I’ve began to realise that just because you are capable of doing something, or you take the effort to do something, doesn't mean the other person is also capable or willing to do the same. So when we set an expectation ,we might be disappointed. 


Do your best, and try to not expect too much in return. Only then will you be able to appreciate any small thing that someone else might do for you. We are all different, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, so try to be thankful for the good people in your life and try to reduce your expectations of others. 

What happens when you learn to be more grateful 

This seems all fine in theory, but it isn't easy to implement it. It takes effort (a lot of it. I’m still working on it) and sometimes it is very hard to think through things when you’re in the eye of the storm.  But once you get a hang of it, life becomes a little lighter, a little less stressful. We often think that the cause of our mental distress is external, but you can always try to shape how you feel about that situation. We have all the tools we need to be happy and content, we just need to reflect and learn to use them. 

Two paths, choose wisely

So the next time you’re in a situation where you are starting to set expectations, or you begin to develop a sense of entitlement, try to redirect your train of thought at an early stage. Try to teach yourself to reduce expectations and to use that energy to work harder. Try to let go of that sense of entitlement and try to be more grateful for the things and people you have in your life. You’ll start noticing that even if situations don’t change, you’ll have a more content life and you’ll be better equipped to deal with things with a clear mind. 

/Supritha